Understanding true self-love requires diving beyond popular misconceptions into the profound journey of internal introspection.

  • Deeper Than External Gestures:
    Real self-love goes beyond indulgent activities like bubble baths and matcha lattes, emphasizing setting boundaries and having utmost self-respect.
  • Embracing Every Facet Internally:
    Self-love involves a deep inward journey, embracing every aspect of oneself, both the loving and shadowed sides, transcending surface-level affirmations.
  • Confronting Internal Criticism:
    Acknowledging and challenging the relentless self-critical dialogue that often leaves individuals feeling inadequate and perpetuates negative cycles.
  • Foundation for Healing:
    Recognizing inherent worthiness and beauty forms an unshakable foundation for healing, intertwining self-love with the essential aspects of inner work and setting boundaries.

The concept of self-love can be elusive and is often misconstrued. Online, there's an abundance of information suggesting that self-love is found in indulgent activities like bubble baths, sipping matcha lattes, or taking serene walks. Don't get me wrong; I love a good bubble bath, but real self-love goes much deeper.

True self-love transcends these external gestures. It is a deeply inward, internal feeling that encompasses setting up boundaries, having the utmost respect for yourself, and dismantling the notion that others are superior. Genuine self-love allows you to recognize that your worth is immeasurable, and you deserve to be your own priority. We must start to take all the people around you off the pedestal and put yourself back on it. It’s time to challenge and shift your old perspective from childhood that there is a comparison game and truly embrace the fact that every human life holds equal value

We put immense effort into relationships with friends, family members, and partners to show we care and love for them. We nurture those relationships with positive actions and affirmations as reinforcements. However, we rarely put out intentional effort to cultivate a positive and nurturing relationship with our own selves. In terms of society as a whole, we hardly know ourselves, we hardly take care of ourselves physically (in the form of exercise and nutrition), and for the most part we're not very self-aware of our emotions – why we feel the way that we do, and what we need to feel loved, safe, and accepted by our own selves.

So what's the best way to articulate self-love? It boils down to becoming aware of yourself and embracing every aspect of yourself with unconditional love. Though, even saying that feels very surface level when the journey to self-love requires deep inward work and introspection. You must deconstruct all the walls you've built up brick by brick, and analyze each of those bricks in order to become self aware, understand yourself, see yourself, hear yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself.

As humans, our internal dialogue often turns critical without fully understanding the impact. We spiral into self-deprecation, critiquing our appearance, worth, achievements, and abilities, perpetuating a relentless cycle of negativity. This internal dialogue can be relentless, leaving us feeling inadequate and always seeing others as ‘better’ than us. But it's time to realize that no one soul is 'better' than the next. We are all the same energy force.

It's heartbreaking to realize that we treat ourselves that way and talk to ourselves so negatively when what we truly crave is love and acceptance. We are our own bullies. What we must realize is that that love and acceptance we crave does not come from an external source. It comes from within you. No one can love you into your own self-love, or accept you into your own self-acceptance. You have to find that within you, you have to give all of that to yourself!

In the moments when we feel anxiousness, fear, anger or discouragement, it's important to recognize that nothing externally can bring you back to peace and love. Your external world is showing you where you are neglecting parts of yourself. There are parts of you that, in these moments, are asking you to be seen, heard, respected, loved, and accepted. It's all within you.

Diving into self-love forms an unshakable foundation for healing. Below are 6 key points that will give you an overall sense of the journey, as well as some of the daily things that strengthen embodying self-love:

  1. Self-acceptance: embrace and accept your strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Self-compassion: treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in times of difficulty or failure, just as you would a friend or family member.
  3. Forgiveness: Let go of past mistakes and moving forward with compassion for yourself. You cannot live in the past. Acknowledge it, release it, and come back into the present moment.
  4. Setting boundaries: Always respect your own needs and limits. If it does not align with you, it is okay to say no.
  5. Positive self-talk: Become aware of negative thoughts and start challenging them by cultivating a positive inner dialogue instead.
  6. Self-care: Prioritize your own well-being. Take care of your body and mind. Exercise, eat healthy, give yourself the rest you need (and don't feel bad for it!), and engage in activities that make you happy!

You can't have self-love without healing, and you can't heal without self-love. Inner child healing, quieting the mind, stepping out of fear, understanding wounds and triggers, reconnecting with your authentic self, and setting up boundaries all bring you back to self and form this incredibly strong foundation where your love for you at your core is immovable.

You have all the love you need within you. Remember that.

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