This article dives into the complexities of the mind and nervous system, unveiling the profound journey through the Dark Night of the Soul and exploring the profound impact that the mind and emotions can have on the body.
- Entanglement of Mind and Nervous System: Explores how relentless thoughts and a dysregulated nervous system perpetuate a cycle of emotional distress and trauma.
- Soul Uncovered: A personal journey through intense emotional pain, depicting the transformative awakening that emerges from the depths of despair.
- Interconnectedness of Emotions and Memories: Emphasizes the interconnected nature of emotions, memories, and thoughts, highlighting the mind's power in triggering and perpetuating the 'dark night’.
- Reclaiming Control: Advocates for self-awareness and reclaiming control from the mind's turmoil as pivotal in navigating the profound inner struggle, advocating for a reconnection with the authentic self amidst the chaos of the dark night.
Understanding the dark night of the soul requires revisiting how emotions work and how we become entangled in the loop of the past.
When a traumatic event occurs, your autonomic nervous system (ANS) kicks in, triggering your body's fight or flight response. This surge in cortisol levels, increased heart rate, and heightened adrenaline typically subsides a few hours later. However, in today's society, many of us remain trapped in a perpetual state of fight or flight, unknowingly guarding ourselves as if under constant threat.
If you are trapped in fight or flight mode, you will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven because you can only express the identity that your nervous system feels safe in, and that is in this heightened fear-based state. This is the unconscious life we are leading when our nervous system is in a constant state of fight or flight. If we have a dysregulated system, a small tiny stressor that doesn’t actually have any threat will feel like we’re being attacked or chased (there’s also freeze or fawn [people pleasing over your own happiness/truth]). Regulating your nervous system boils down to assessing triggers and paying attention to how you're actually feeling; otherwise, these responses will run your life.
Why does this happen? Because many of us fuse our identity with the mind. We allow our thoughts to incessantly replay those traumatic events. When you relive these traumatic events over and over in your mind, it’s not just the thought of the moment. With those thoughts comes the feeling we experienced in that moment, those feelings then elicit more thoughts that align with it, which in turn causes your mind to recall even more painful memories - you loop and you spiral out of control.
Your mind and body fail to differentiate between present experiences and past memories. Let me say that again so it really sticks - your mind and body cannot differentiate between what is happening in the present moment and what is just a past memory. So when you live in the past in your mind, it triggers the same emotional turmoil over and over again – multiple times per day for weeks, months or years. This cycle initiates your fight or flight response, entangling us deeper in anguish. And this is how we get stuck in pain. This prolonged state of fight or flight can wire your brain to endure constant pain, creating an entrenched habit. Your mind is so incredibly powerful and it’s time we realize that. Your life is not yours, your decisions are not yours, you're sitting in the passenger seat unaware of where you are headed.
Worse still, this psychological turmoil can manifest physically, depleting your body's energy, and weakening your immune system. Dr. Joe Dispenza observed a subject whose body, trapped in the fight or flight mode from reliving past trauma incessantly, faced severe health consequences, including compromised immunity, paralysis, and even cancer growth.
The dark night of the soul was unbeknownst to me; I found myself slipping deeper into anxiety, depression, and despair after losing someone I loved in 2022.
I was in agony for months and I couldn’t see a way out. The pain was relentless, consuming. I screamed, I cried, I couldn’t breathe, my whole body was shaking, I was so weak, I couldn’t stand, I couldn't relax, sit, lay down. I was nauseaus, I was incapacitated, physically and emotionally drained, gasping for air. I was having anxiety attacks. My mind was racing. My mind was trying to make everything make sense. My mind was telling me terrible things. My mind was grabbing onto all my negative self-destructive thought patterns. My mind was killing me. I wanted it all to stop. I wanted everything to be erased. I wanted to forget everything. I was losing myself, suffocating under the weight of despair. I didn’t want to live anymore. I was dying. I was defeated. I was broken. I was stuck in pain and I was ready to die.
And someone did die through that experience – the Lauren that I had built up over the past 29 years. The Lauren that lived in fear and pain. The Lauren that lived her life unconsciously making decisions based on triggers and past traumas. The Lauren that let her mind dictate her life.
The moral of the story?
Everything is interconnected. Your nervous system is interconnected with your emotions, which is interconnected to your memories, which is interconnected to your thoughts, which in turn all stems from the mind. The dark night of the soul emerges when the mind's incessant turmoil drives you crazy enough to finally say enough is enough, prompting you to reclaim control and step into your self - back to your soul essence.
The dark night of the soul is a misleading name, as it should be called the Dark Night of the Ego since during this process the soul is uncovered and finally able to shine through.
The dark night of the soul isn't something people seek out yet yields immense growth. It creeps up on you and you never know what the trigger is going to be. For me, it was losing the love of my life. For others it could be something different. Looking back, I can see all the good that came out of it. The growth is evident. Yet, during a painful journey, that perspective will always elude us.
Transformation is not instantaneous. It takes time to quiet your mind, reshape neural pathways, and foster awareness. However, awareness is 90% of the work. Once you know something, you can’t unknow it – once you are aware of your mind's control, you can no longer stay unconscious and ignore it. I dived into deep inner work, harnessing willpower and resilience to overpower the mind and ego, and I changed myself.
While this has profound awakening, growth, self-awareness, and self-love benefits, I wouldn't wish such agony on anyone. Yet, I wonder, can we preempt it? If we are a step ahead of the game, and turn to face our inner turmoil and take back control of our lives from our own mind’s, can most people avoid the dark night? Can the trauma response and that pain be negated or at least diminished so it’s not as crushing if you get ahead of it and reconnect with soul on your own accord?
I believe so, and I believe UnstuckSelf can guide you there. Our minds wield immense power, leading us toward negativity and complacency if we allow it. However, your soul is stronger. Disconnect from the mind and ego, reconnect with your soul.